Here's a @#$%ing Dim Bulb
November 20, 2001
Subject: dammit to hell
Dammit I am sick of people. I am so sic of people who judge the quality of music by how "hardcore" the lyrics are. It's so fucking stupid. Anyone can write lyrics like that you twit. I listen to Slipknot(IOWA sucked). Guess what? I also listen to John Denver you fag. Am I trying to be hardcore? NO!! I happen to enjoy music. I don't try and keep up this "Look at me I'm so evil and bad! Fear me! I am a big "gothic" scarey guy who writes hatemail!" Don't u dare talk about trying to be hardcore, kuz in my opinion, you are just as bad. Cannibal Corpse is the most untalented band I have ever heard, amusing as they may be. And their lyrics are terrible. I see your kind on the street and I vomit. The ulcers are becomming numerous. You people who say "keep it real!" are just as fake as the rest.
P.S. anyone reading this; download Therion. They are an excellent band that combines opera, symphony, and metal, and the guitar riffs and orchestra are absolutely genious. Just as good as any popular band. Especially from "The Secret of the Runes" album
You @#$%ing idiot... Don't you get that the whole point of the strip was to make fun of the pecular way gap tends to market its products and not to evangelize any sort of music. in fact i picked those particular three musicians because i felt their admitidly silly, yet individual, costumes were in some way the antithesis of the gaps cookies cutter opinion of how people should dress. (but i wouldnt be suprized if a clueless @#$%ing buttrunner would be pissed of that im making fun of the gap)
Some other points, for someone who admits he listens to john denver you shouldn't beusing a phrase that is so hurtful to your own kind as "fag".
I am not hardcore, because i listen to heavy music with insane lyrics. i am hard core because i have no compassion for $#!+brained idots like you. I am hard core because if i met you aon the street i would not only vomit on you, i would pisson you. Then i would rip out your intestines and shake them in front of your still living face. Then i would smear your unworthy blood on my face like warpaint and then gather the excrement that has poured forth from your intestines in a bucket and head off to a gap to do some serious damage. I would do all this while guzzleing several bottles of 100 proof vodka with no concern to mhy own health AND while listening to slipknot, cannilbal corpse and mudvayne.
Don't you ever DARE call me gothic! $#!+ for brains... Goths are stupid, misled narccisists with a heavy hand on the make-up and strange fashion sense. I on the other hand am merely an angry drunk.
P.S. regarding your comment on therion...
At least you have a little bit of good taste denver-boy...
But you being a seriously peabrained mutha@#$%er have started up with the wrong man, you have assumed just because i have some affinity for aggressive music that i have no sense of melody... let me suggest some bands for you...
Lake Of Tears
Night In Gales
Eternal Tears of Sorrow
And how bout the original genius for symphony and vocals... Beehtoven! Yes! I reccomend Beehtoven you stupid-ass muther@#$%ing ameoba judgeing ME for supposedly judging other music. I would say you are a supreme ass.. but i'd loathe to connect any supurlative to you in any way. So why don't you go back to jerking yourself to you "Quality" john denver music, and don't sully my website anymore.
P.P.S Just to prove the depths of your idiocy everyone please scroll down to the letter headed "F.T.W" to see my real opinion of bigtime slipknot fans...
People should bitch at me every
November 20, 2001
with punks up with drunks!
FORT N KREGG
Well, I put this link on my homepage to ur site and now all my
friends think its kick ass cause we hate punks (Metallica) and
love drunks (DETHBOY)! I was picked as the chairman to
write this letter cause I have a lot of free time!
In the first paragraph you say this is a daily strip. Ur
a liar. I have been checking out ur page almost daily for
a few months now and I don't think I have seen but maybe three
new cartoons and no color ones except in the archives WHAT'S
I need more stupid opinion polls in my life. DAMMIT quit
getting %#*&ed up and draw me some damn pictures! BUSH
SUCKS! Sorry to sound so damn bossy but come on the damn
zombie chicken is lame kill it already. So help me out
or everyone's gonna think the site is gay pretty soon! Have
a nice day!
First of all, let me start off with this...
If you ever send me an email in all colored text again I will
hunt you down and somehow make sure you never come near a computer
In the first paragraph I explicity state that the dailyness of
this strip is reliant on my soberness. But don't worry, I'm struggling
to get back in the swing of things again. My three main occupations
(drinkin, depression, porn) have been taking up quite a bit of
my time latley. But since i got a high spees connection, i think
i have looked at EVERY PIECE OF PORN on the web, so it's pretty
There is only one more zombie turkey strip left, after that i
should be getting back to updating at least a couple times a
week... I've had alot of ideas piling up over the past year or
P.S. Kreeg is alreadly on his way over to give you a goog @#$%ing
thrashing for misspelling his name... Or maybe he'll just confiscate
Any body who is brave or bored enough to deal with ultra slow
servers can check out her site at http://hometown.aol.com/thdevilskittykat/
This is the reason I don't like
January 15, 2001
!@#$ the world is what I say. Drink
beer, smoke weed, get into fights, and do it again the next day.
What else is there?Suv's and money? Big houses and straight A's?
I don't think so. !@#$ THAT!! I like your views on things (hatemail,
your response etc...)
Keep it up man. -cheers-
p.s.\ !@#$ it all, !@#$ this world, !@#$ everything that you
stand for, don't belong, don't exist, don't give a $#!*, don't
ever judge me. -SlipKnot-
I can see that THC worked for you...
Let me tell you some thing dillweed, you have all the elocution
of a doorknob....
And another thing, don't think for even
one little smoke filled second that your little pre-skool wannabe
nihilism has any thing to with my views... I'm so sick of every
thing that i'm sick of booze, drugs and fights... (don't mean
i don't do it tho.. pissy @$$ highskool teenybopper $#!*head)
and i'm so @#$%ing existential i don't even believe that i exist..
Oh... i see you listen to slipknot...
woo boy you must be really HARDCORE.... lemme step back for a
moment... $#@% YOU! Bastard! you wanna listen to some real hardcore
$#!* go listen to some early cannibal corpse or some goddam six
feet under, rather that some freekin posers riding the wave of
aggressive music now that it is popular. $#@% they are so embarrassed
about what they are doing that they can't even show their goddam
faces. pooftahs! So please don't write me again until you can
quote me something good... like "stripped, raped and strangled
(tori amos remix)"
Bull #$%@ing $#!*! I can't believe this...
you got me all worked up with your faggoty@$$ CRAP... and it's
a %$#@ing monday! I got no %$#@ing booze around.... YOU WILL
PAY! NUMBNUTS!!! If i ever see you i just might put you out of
your misery... not out of an act of mercy mind you... but just
to steal that booze and weed that you supposedly have...
Now let's check out this piss weak website
that you sent me... http://www.ya-Hooka.com
Problem #1: No %$#@ing link to my site....
not in the search OR if i navigate down to the comics section....
when will you stupid bastards ever learn.... there are three
things that make a site that is not dethboy.com worth while....
it is linked to dethboy.com it is endorsed by dethboy.com....
you can steal something from it... don't trust the weak little
piles of pasta in you head that you call "brains" to
give you any sort of clear judgment...
Problem #2: do we really need another
%$#@ed up stoner website online... get off it already... either
devote yourself to consuming legal and readily available drugs(e.g.
booze, caffeine and nicotine) or try to use your urge for "activism"
to better somebody elses life like feeding the hungry or lowering
the drinking age to 8...
Problem #3: Jeezus H. $#!*ting CRAP!
does smoking dope make you color blind and destroy all sense
of design you have!?! i think i'm starting to understand "psychedelic
art". nuff said.
In conclusion.... you suck.
OohBoy! Another moron steps up
to the plate!
January 8, 2001
WHAT A @#$%IN EYEFULL OF CRAp !!!!!!!!!keep
up da bad work.. chas.
At least take your time and send me some quality hatemail...
this isn't even worth my time.
Hey check this $#!* out, i got
a positive letter! I don't know if i like this though..
it's no fun to respond to...
August 8, 2000
Subject: I have enough beers to do this
hey you ever hear of The Metal Millita
well were @#$%in party hardy, blunt smokin, beer drinking, bitch
@#$%n, pan@#$%intera blaring, pig hatin mother @#$%ers..................so
we kool with you? why dont we unite to say "$%@! YOU!!"
to all those back door spice girl #@$%heads that really begin
to piss us off............................................ well
I am runnin out of beer and weed so i gotta go get some lata.........
check our site out www.metalheads1.homestead.com/mainpage.html
Okay... lemme check this out....
This is very interesting, your site manages to be insanely cluttered
and absoloutly useless at the same time....
Yet some how very pleasing in an over the top metalhed sorta
way... Good work...
That hacking $#!* you got there looks rather interesting....
but there is now way i'm gunna try it out...
However you are missing the one thing that can validate a site
of this nature's existance (not porn... well... okay, porn never
hurts...), A link to dethboy.com....
You really should take that metallica logo offa there tho.....
they are not a band anymore they are a @#$%ing multi national
corporation trying to squeeze us proles for every mutha@#$%in
last dime, @#$%in @#$%ers, @#$% $#!* goddam @#$% you got me going
now... PLEASE every one don't mention $#@%edtallica to me or
send me to a site that mentions them, except on weekends and
holidays, when i can go out and get %$#@ed up to calm myself
p.s. what did you have enough beers
I don't know if this ones worth
my time, but i'm bored.(and out of beer)
June 12, 2000
PRESENTING THE GREAT HOODOO...........................
THE GREAT HOODOO WILL PREFORM FEATS OF DESTIVITY TONIGHT FOR
YOUR SICKLY PLEASURE
DON'T WORRY YOU'LL LOVE IT
I READ YOUR DUMB @$$ COMIC YOU REALLY ARE
GAY AREN'T YOU?
FIRST OF ALL YOUR MAIN DUDE ( DETHBOY ) IS THIS LITTLE SHIT WHO
CAN'T SEE ANYTHING..................HE SHOULD BANG GOTH GIRL
EVERY ONE WANTS IT EVERY ONE HOPES FOR IT EVERY ONE DREAMS FOR
IT ................NOT REALLY THEY ALL JUST WANNA SEE SOME NUDITY
HELL I DO
CAUSE I'M NOT A SICK FAGGOT LIKE YOU WHO JUST THINKS ABOUT BEER
DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE BEER BUT I LOVE PUSSY MORE I KNOW YOU
ARE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING STUPID LIKE HOW BEER IS BETTER THEN
CHICKS ITS SOME WHAT TRUE BUT YOU CAN'T SCREW A BEER OR IN YOUR
CASE YOU CAN ( I KNOW YOU FOUND A WAY )
SO FAGGOT UNTIL YOU GOT NUDITY IN YOUR COMIC MAKE MINE MARVEL
YOU QUEER I BET YOU GET OFF TO A PIC OF SOME CHEEZY HEAVY METAL
DUDE LIKE MANSON OR SOME $#!* LIKE THAT
SO LONG FAGGOT
Okay, you %$#@ing little $#!* sucker
, prepare to be enlightened,
Don't talk to me about faggotry you
perv, because every one in the world knows that every one on
A O HELL is a %$#@ backside boy... what the hell is up with those
caps lock? can't you %$#@ing read with lower case letters?
$#!*, man you have a %$#@ing unhealthy fixation on seeing Gothchick
nude, get help. Don't worry though I understand that your excessive
homophobia is rooted in the fact that you truly enjoy the %$#@
fifteen anal probes you receive from your dear old daddy every
day, you just haven't admitted it to your self yet.
The reason you have this need to parade your %$#@ing so-called
desire for pussy is that you truly don't have any, dumb%$#@.
You're to busy dreaming of engulfing your sick old fathers flaccid
prick in your mouth to actually go out side and see some real
girls. Therefore you sit at home all day jacking of to your precious
marvel super hero cards to try and prove to your self that you
really don't enjoy having $#!* stuck up your @$$. Then you go
and down load some nude pix of that chick in pokemon, and beat
it all over that, and then OH %$#@! you just blew a load all
over your keyboard! (that explains your stuck caps lock key being
stuck, i swear this guys email was so sticky it %$#@ed up my
server, he musta been choking it dreaming about his next lesson
in incest while writing it..)
Now little fagit boy child, don't let your daddys advances lead
you to misogyny(women do that just fine themselves...) embrace
your twisted sexuality, make some money, go down to the comic
shop and suck off the owner so you can get some of your beloved
marvel comics for free.
Also just for %$#@ sake i will add to
a very tired and overplayed genre of joke.
Reasons a beer is better than a woman:
1: When beer makes you puke, you still want more....
2: Beer will kill you a lot faster than a woman (and with a lot
3: Beer can drive you into a homicidal rage..($#!* so can a woman,
for get this one...)
4: When beer embarrasses you, at least you piss off a lot of
people also! (always a plus)
Now you %$#@ing prick licker, if you can get your papas fun monkey
out of your @$$ long enough to read this, please tell me what
the hell does destivity mean, hell i'm all for making up words,
but you have to make sure people can under stand them, %$#@munch.
Go with my eternal despite and my growing
concern for your sadly over stretched sphincter,
P.S. if any body knows the reason all
A O Hellers always use caps lock, drop me a line
Woo! Hoo! This one's a smoker!I
love my job!
Subject: You Moron
Wow violence, another version of anger
being portrayed as a cartoon. Do you want to get beaten up by
a girl too? Therapy huh?!
Speaking of which, as a she-male do you wear matching black panties
and bra, or are you so insignificant down below that you have
no reason to tuck?
So that was my therapy, there was not a curse, nor any symbolism
to your fetish of being ass whupped by a woman.
Now what do you have to say about that?
See... now that you have gotten some
of that latent aggression out you feel alot better.
Now there is one %$#@ing this we have to discuss you cock wiping
piece of $#!*. What about this latent misogyny you have trouble
dealing with? The only time when it bad to get your @$$ kicked
by someone is if they are weaker than you. My point should be
evident you horse%$#@ed anus stuffer...
You have acutely observed though, a repeating theme in my work
of guys getting their @$$es kicked by chix. This has its root
in a recurring dream of me getting my @$$ kicked by Angelina
Jolie(GODDAM shes hot!). By the way i read some where that she
wants to sleep with every one in the world.... this is just to
inform her i'd be glad to help her along her way...
As for my taste in lingerie, I personally prefer black leather
stuff with spikey stuff on it. I'm sure you'd be glad to model
some for me because you have first hand experience with that
she male stuff.
Now to the %$#@ing point, you know why I cuss all the time? because
i %$#@ing love it you bitch... it's even more fun when i come
across a bastid like you... because it gets under you mutha %$#@ing
skin so easily. What I really love doing is going to public places
and going like this:
"%$#@ you! All you %$#@ing mutha%$#@Ers! %$#@ you and you're
bull$#!* world! You bitches go home a diddle you're %$#@ing kid,
but the you make the best $#!* in the world illegal. Well i don't
give a %$#@ any more! You know why? Cause I got this %$#@ing
gun right here! And yer all gunna be my %$#@ing whores tonight!"
and thats when the cops usually show up. But it's worth it to
see how mere words can make stupid %$#@s like you squirm...
please respond because, for the time
being, i find your archaic hangups and small mind amusing.
P.S. hate to burst your bubble, but
@$$ is technically a cuss.. dumb%$#@
Check it out! I got another letter
from this dude! Ya gotta admire his balls!
June 5, 2000
Response to a response from an angry drunken
Let's discuss some ideas together, like why didn't you consider
the proposition of a less angry strip. Your comic is not funny
and it seems to be the therapy of an angry person. Therapy is
ok, and if I didn't want to put up with your complexes I would
not waste my time reading it, however I am quite concerned with
you. I wish I could say you are a dangerous woman (or half-man)
but you are not. You seem to spew wisdom that is only associated
with the foolish ravings of a drunk. Sober up.
You will wake up.
See I don't have anything against you personally and I could
even learn to like you, but people don't like angry people and
other forms of downers. I just would like for you to change your
strip a little, like make it funny?! Pee Wee Herman is a joke,
you laugh at him, but guys like Chris Farly and Phil Hartman
aren't angry and you must admit they are funny.
Perhaps you have issues with corporate America, but it is far
more successful than every country, and would you like to explain
to every other country how a super power is shallow?
Anyway, I am enjoying the correspondence, even though you should
try to be more eloquent or creative with words that don't look
Peace and sobriety,
WHeeeee! I'm having so much fun! Two
letters in two days, I think I'm gonna creem my jeenz!
Let me see... you do have the angry drunken fool part down finally,
if you make another mistake there i will have to personally reprimand
You've already answered your first question without realizing
it dope.... the reason i don't consider making this a less angry
strip is that I AM AN ANGRY PERSON... it fuels my whole creative
process (well that and beer) and if you think this is unfunny
you should see the tripe trash a produce when I'm trying to please
people like you (or potential employers) Maybe it takes somebody
who's also angry and miserable to appreciate the value of angry
stuff beyond the therapy factor, but i really don't think so
... hell i know a happy well, balanced guy who couldn't get of
Cheese ( and no he's not a closet psycho...)
what I'm trying to say is, that when you see somebody saying
or doing angry things or producing angry art... you should try
to see from his perspective what is making him angry and try
to remedy that... rather that dismissing him out of hand. Meaning
forcing my self to make happy lolly pop land bull$#!* while not
actually feeling that way is merely treating a symptom while
the disease rages unchecked...
By the way, that dangerous woman(half man) remark is pretty good..
I'm glad to see you're getting into the proper spirit of things...
just a couple of remarks....
1. It would have been funnier to say "She male" than
2. are you implying that you, mr. goody two pricks, are actually
misogynistic! otherwise in what way is that an insult... Maybe
you have some subconscious anger problems you need to work out
Let me just point out that the reason most people don't like
angry or depressed people is that these people come dangerously
close to ripping down the fragile illusion americans have created
for themselves to shield them from the true horror of our materialistic/consumeristic
I do not have to admit that farly or hartman were funny (and
i wont), wait a sec... whyd you pick to dead guys? what ever...
and if you think for a minute that farly wasn't angry you are
sorely mistaken... how else do you explain his early death as
a result of bingeing on alcohol and drugs? Plus i constantly
saw anger seeping thru just about ever one of his performances...
explaining why most of his acts revolved around self degradation
and depreciation ( In a van down by the RIVER...) maybe the reason
you don't sense this maybe it's because he repressed it and twisted
it all around to appease %$#@s like you, and to try and make
a living... in my opinion its this repression that most likely
lead to his untimely demise.
I am in no way saying that being angry is funnier in fact most
of may favorite humor is non angry. But I'm not truly doing this
for humor... i do it for one reason, public catharsis, i need
to vent some dangerous buildup in a socially acceptable way...
if i happen to entertain some people along the way (or myself)
alls the better.
if you think the success of a country is based in any way on
its GNP then you are sadly misled ( i don't think amercas is
the largest any ways, definitely not per capita) and the mere
fact that im so angry and unhappy points to a disturbing problem
with our non-society. further more what does depth of character
have to do with governance?
well, i gotta go finish this weeks strips,
but keep up the good work you are diverting me nicely from this
hell hole most people call life...
Peace and S SSss...ss So AAAGHGHGHGHH!
no! i can't say it!
Woo Hoo! I Finally go a new letter!
June 4, 2000
Subject: Help us help you
As amazed as I am at the low levels of
achievements you manage to invent, I still find myself possessed
to wonder what it is about corporate America you can't handle.
I think you should support those that are indifferent about such
concepts of boy-bands, girl-bands, and other teenage aspirations.
Perhaps you should stop with the bashing, come out of the proverbial
closet and admit what it is that you desire.
I can't help it if you pretend to drink beer and truly love wine
coolers with exotic fruit. There doesn't have to be anything
wrong with that unless you won't admit it to yourself, forget
what we think. Though Metallica is musically talented, they are
trying to make a buck and you would do the same if I stole your
characters and had them give NSYNC annual foot massages.
What I am trying to say is that I love Britney Spears and Whitney
Houston b/c it sounds awesome. Forget the ideas behind the machines
of corporate America, don't hate it b/c it was written by someone
far more intelligent and talented than you. At least it is not
tasteless like Korn and other form of bitter metal.
What little talent you may have could turn a disgraceful comic
into an enjoyable one suitable for all ages. It would not be
hard to insert some brightness like flowers or perhaps smiles.
(Such things pop music represents. Sanatana seems to be happy
now for example)
Funny is not anger it is humor like the great comedians such
as Pee-Wee Herman, John Ritter, and cartoons like the Rugrats.
This opposed to Howard Stern, Denis Leary, and the despondent
Simpsons. Humanity deserves better than Dethboy, try to accommodate
our race, if not our intelligence.
Wow! It's been a long time... Hope I
still remember how to do this...
first of all let me state for this record, that because of the
poor sentence structure and disjointed logic i believe this to
be a joke from one of the drunken %$#@s i hang out with....
But since I'm a very bored and lonely soul I'm gonna try my hand
Okay, since you have the mind of a @#$%ing
sheep thats been accosted a few too many times by a frat boy,
i'll learn ya whats wrong with corporations. To be succinct,
the corporation is the vilest invention mankind has ever made...
they gladly starve people, ruin lives and poison our minds (entertainment,
news media) bodies(just about anybody that makes food, tobacco
and alcohol companies) and planet( mostly the automotive industry
but also anyone who manufactures anything) just to get a slightly
bigger piece of our dwindling resources. Little do they realize,
once they've murdered all of us, all the "wealth" in
the world wont keep them from having to go out and forage for
food.(or maybe they could eat all of their filthy money.
If by this time in your life you havent realized why its better
to listen to honest music rather that some mind numbing corporate
product, i truly pity your lack of personality... in fact i would
rather be the afore mentioned sheep than your sorry @$$!
In accordance with your suggestion i will come out of the closet
and tell you what i truly desire... Britnee Spears and Christina
Aguilera up in my room after they've had a six pak each...(i
know you don't understand because right now you're jerking it
right now in some sort of sick fantasy involving all the Backstreet
boys, NSYNC and a really frightening amount of chocolate syrup)
Also, i will admit to you i do love wine coolers with exotic
fruit in them. because i love anything with alcohol in it, and
nothing gets you in a nice murderous rage like drinking a couple
of bottles of wine after drinking a case of beer.. plus all the
fruit gives you vitamins so the hangover isnt so bad the next
day...(get it dumb@$$? I'm a %$#@ing alcoholic and proud of it,
you %$#@ing inbred dip$#!* slob, but since you have an IQ smaller
than your %$#@ing nonexistent penis, your reading comprehension
level is understandably low, so i'll let that one slide)
Okay i would get mad if you stole my characters and used them
to live out your own weirdo bondage sexual fantasies with boy
bands... BUT thats not what anybody's doing with the Metalliwhores
songs.... E.G. if you started coping my strips and sharing them
with all youre butt%$#@ buddies, and just generally spouting
anything about me(preferably vile hateful stuff) would think
about not killing you and using your skin to wipe my @$$. in
fact i love anything that increases my fame, notoriety or people
general sense that I'm a dangerous maniac...
I can see why you think britney spears and whitney houston(here
on referred to as songstress whores) are in telligent, because
like them you have no penis but unfortunately unlike them you
have no boobs so i wont put up with your godawful whiney chatter.
and little do you realize it was not the songstress whores who
exhibited any talent in any of those recordings, but the teeming
legions of writers and producers they've hired.
Hey, wait a sec, whats this bitter metal stuff your talking about?
is it a new genre? what bands are in it?
Truth be told i have no talent what so ever, I'm just a desultory
scum@#$% taking the lemons life gave me and making them into
dangerous missile weapons. (and hopefuly seriously injuring someone
With all your talk of flowers and happy faces you not only once
again prove that you are some sort of sick bestiality fetishist(not
that there is anything wrong with that, wait a sec there is!!)
but that you really have no perception of your fellow human beings
experience in life, and truth be told most people are miserable.
but your filthy, rotten, middle class, whitebread, %$#@ing useless
brain doesnt realize that there a people starving in this world,
because you are too busy choking your %$#@ing microscopic cock
to the likes of NSYNC... you are a @#$%ing waste of semen, i
wouldnt cross the street to puke on you(but i would cross the
street to rob you for beer money and harass all of your female
Who da %$#@ is Sanatana!! ill just assume youre talking about
Santana.... let me clue you in on something... he was never any
good so it doesnt matter what he does.(i'll also excuse you on
this one b/c i know you labor under the supposition that if some
one is on TV they must be a role model)
I wont even go after your last paragraph b/c your total lack
of any sense of humor is plainly evident to all, and is quite
hilarious just the way it is.
Finally, humanity deserves nothing, b/c "humanity"
is just a foolish abstract concept. and the hypocrites that espouse
it are just using it as an excuse to starve some poor being out
of existence and will to live... plus, you don't realize that
every on on this freakishly loony planet are just monkeys throwing
$#!* at each other and killing each other over grubs in the dirt
( cept our $#!* is either radioactive or poisonous and you cant
eat dollar bills) evolution my @$$!
to sum up this lunatic rant, i would
like to thank Alcohol (hi Beer!), psychoactive drugs, and all
the people who don't believe in me for making this possible.
I would like to thank women every where for my growing misogyny.
and i would like to say you are way to dumb to be a mother%$#@er,
plus you're too busy spilling your seed over ricky martin(make
sure to wipe up you slob), so now i hereby dub you a rat@SS-%$#@er,
enjoy your new status as on of the stupidest idiots on the face
of this goddamned planet!
Oct. 10 1999
Subject: WHATA JERK
I AND HUNDREDS OF OTHER bsb FANS REALLY
THINK U SHOULD GET A LIFE. IT IS REALLY STUPID TO WRITE STUFF
LIKE THIS ON A bsb WEBSITE WHERE LITTLE CHILDREN AND EVEN DECENT
ADULTS VISIT. U REALLY NEED TO CLEAN UP UR ACT. NOBODY IS INTERESTED
IN UR BEING A DRUNKEN A-HOLE. THINK TWICE AND MAYBE EVEN A THIRD
TIME BEFORE TALKING ABOUT URSELF THAT WAY, I don't CARE HOW MUCH
LODER U ARE THAN ME.
UR A JERK,
First, things first, as a service to
all humanity, take off the goddamn caps lock key %#$@Head! If
this happens again I'm gonna have to start chopping off some
Okay, down to business what the hell
are you mad about. Are you a Back Door Boys fan or something??
Your very wrong on one point though,
I am VERY interested in my being a drunken @$$hole. In fact I
try to practice it every day!
And finally, yes I am very much loder
than you (loder?) and that gives me the right to do what ever
the hell I want! Check out that blistering logic, Bastard!
Hey guys we've finally got
a !@#$ing letter!
Aug. 27, 1999
Comic #23 and #24 kick @$$! The ''Calvin
and Hobbs stoned'' in the sunday comic is helariouse. Gothchic
rules, but in some pictures (especialy profiles) she loses her
feminin look. Try refining her cartoon to make it look like the
second picture of 25, a great close-up, and not like the second
picture of #23.
In #23, her featuers look like, well,to be put bluntly(this is
hatemail); @#$%ed. With a little cerective sergury I'm sure you
can fix em' up. Also, in the second picture of #23 her back is
very thick, it gives her this wierd look like she's some other
species, if you arch it to make it thinner, it'll look much better.
In #25 you have a shot from the back which also leaves the back
loooking wierd, you might wanna try to refine cartooning womens'
By the way, great expression with Gothchic in comic #15, first
picture, bottom row.
A few compliments and a little constructive critisizm. Keep drawing,
I love em'!
CHeezus &@#$ing H. jumping bull$#!*!!!
we've gotten a letter!
and I thought all you guys hated us...
well now down to business.. basically
trying to ridicule EVERYONE who tries to correspond with us!!
First of all dude - what is up with
your spelling? I am a firm believer in creative word building...
but this is going too far.DAMN! Are you as drunk as I think I
am?!?!(plus Gothchick says... if you misspell her name again
you'll wake up with your eyes clawed out and possibly missing
a few organs)
Secondly, you've got the numbers @#$%ed
up!!! Those are the dates, doofus!! e.g. Aug 15th Aug
23rd, etc, etc. Comic strip #1 is Aug. 9th so get with the plan
But if you're becoming infatuated with
Gothchick, just wait until next week when goth takes on punk
in a series I can only call "When $#!*heads Clash"
I'm in the middle of a process of consuming
36 or so beers right now so I have no more time to waste on you...
So the Alcoholic Avatar now bids you
farewell with a friendly , Kill 'em All!
Oct. 10 1999
Whats up Metalhead?
Good work on the strip allthough i do have to agree a little
with the super pretentous guy from AmatureTeens.com you do tend
to parody too much, but hell writing and drawing a strip a day
is rough. At least you admit that its cheap and easy (i don't
remember what day, I don't really care)Is your comic going to
be reprints of this $#!* i have allready seen? don't change your
art for any
lonely guy who want to beat off to your Goth. Its fine. The thing
that mystifies me is how you can like Metallica so much, they
may not have sold out (you cant sell out if thats your intention
from the begining) but their music sucks latlely, no, not even
lately, they haven't put out anything excellent since Master
of Muppets. What scares me even more is how you can stand to
drink Iron City. I'm sure whatever comes out of Javadog would
taste better. If you
want to support your local brewerys at least dring Yeungling,
cheap and kick @$$ Lagar that it is. Later
Let's see now... the comic book is going
to be an all new 24 page comic, black and white, blah, blah,
blah. I've got to find some funding for it now since I'm not
getting that Xeric grant. ($#!*!!)
As for my taste in Metal and Beer, I
really can't put up a defense for it because it's a totally aesthetic
decision, and what you do or do not like is not really based
in logic. It's about time we stop getting on each others nerves
about things like that. For example, I think Yeungling tastes
like the crap I puke up every %$#@ing morning but you have a
perfect right to think it tastes like am-%$#@ing-brosia. Hell,
in fact I do drink it myself because beer is beer.
But you do get a big "%$#@ Yeah!"
for actually having the balls to admit it has nothing to do with
selling out, and it's all about that you flat out think it sucks.
WOW!! This one's a scorcher!!
I love it HEHHEHHE..
Sept 1st, 1999
Dethboy and Rejects,
Please give up. Your comic strip, as you
call it, sucks more than the
girls on AmateurTeens.com. You are lowering the standard for
even the most tasteless of websites. Your art sucks, your strips
are devoid of any originality or wit, and your characters are
boring, uninteresting, and cliche. Perhaps that is your only
strength: to gather and plagiarize from the most brilliant and
popular cartoonists and somehow manage to convert their clever
ideas into the worthless $#!* on your site. Even on a medium
like the web which can make even the most useless and boring
material popular, your site is forever condemned to mediocrity.
I have started a petition to have you removed from the web on
account of your selfish desire to lure in unsuspecting webusers
with a bait of intellectual and artistic creativity that quickly
shows itself for what it is: a mockery of all the art and creativity
that our civilization has strived to promote and preserve. I
hope you die in a fire and all of your "art" is burned
with you so that in thousands of years when historians look back
on our era they won't stumble on anything of yours and lable
our time-period "The Great Decline ofHumanity".
Burn in Hell
Dethboy's arch-enemy Lifeboy
Okay first things first..
Hmm.. www.amateurteens.com... loading...
Not bad.. seen better....
wait a bloody @#$%ing second!
Why is this your first reference point of a bad website?
Do you frequent it or sites like it alot? AHA! I've got it...
You most likely own it and are just trying to get it mentioned
somewhere... Good Luck with your porn mongering, dude...
maybe when your raking it in you can give us a lucrative advertising
Keep in touch.. hope to see ya soon!